Steve Ballmer is on cocaine.

I'm convinced. He has to be. From the "DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS!" to the latest statement he has made about how software piracy would decrease if we only had CHEAPER HARDWARE.

Rrrrrrrriiiiiiight. I don't know if Steve's exactly been paying attention lately, but one can obtain a near top of the line PC from Dell for about $349. (2.8Ghz P4, 800FSB, 256MB RAM, 40GB HDD, etc)

So go and buy that ~$350 PC and THEN, start buying software for it. If you buy just Microsoft's Office suite, looky what happens. BAM!, you've doubled the cost. Keep coming up with your reasons Steve and I'll come up with about 12.4 Billion more why you're on cocaine and your software should be more affordable.

I know this cause Tyler knows this......

"A new laptop built by my company is shipped with a certain power supply. The power supply overheats and burns down an office building with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of power supplies in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one."

"Which company do you work for?"

"A major one."

"Forts: A sensitive subject"

If/when I ever have children, forts would be a very sensitive subject. More specifically, the ability to build a fort.

If/when my child (of either gender, it doesn't matter) reaches the age I deem necessary to possess the knowledge and/or skill of fort construction, and they seem to "lack" this skill, I shall trade the child in for a new one or just stop feeding them until a fort appears. Cause to me, fort construction is more of an instinct rather than a learned skill.

One should be able to just build a fort on demand at a certain age. I think my dad did build the first fort in my house growing up. I, from that day forth, designed and built many forts. My dad didn't even show me how to build forts. I just walked into the room and said, "Whoa, fort?" He replied, "Yes." and that, as they say, was that. So obviously, fort construction is hereditary, much like baldness.

Coming soon: "Forts: How to arm and armour"

"What's riding on your tires?" or "I'm lovin' it!"