So someome, who shall remain nameless, at work sends an email out to ALL EMPLOYEES with a TWELVE MEGABYTE ATTACHMENT.

I open up the attachment and its a single page MS Word document with a letterhead.

I strip out the text, and the file is still 12MB.

I put the text in its own word document, you know, the only part of the document that actually conveys information, and its 27kb.

To put this in perspective, I can fit 53 copies of my file on a floppy disk................their file alone would take 10 floppies.

To reiterate, this 12MB file was emailed to ALL EMPLOYEES.

PICTARS!

From my trip up to San Francisco with Sheila on Valentine's Day. *insert gay noise here*

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So I'm waking to the bathroom at work like a fucking madman because i have to take the browns to the superbowl. My stomachs hurting, andi've bene ripping mean ass for the past hour. that mexican food from last night is talking back to me, and saying it wants an exit. So io walk into the public restroom (which is kept surprisingly clean...) and head to the stalls. Two stalls, one in use, and the handicap one not in use. So hit the handicrapper. I put on the seat cover (read: assgasket) and proceed to drop a bigger load of shit then OJ testifying at his trial...After a good 5 minutes of peeing otu of my asshole, i get a curtesy flush. i believe by now, the smell is so bad that everyone has cleared out of the bathroom. So i'm done, it smells like someone died, but i'm finished. but whats that i hear? foot steps....well i don't want to walk out and having someone turning around from taking a piss, and see me walking out of the handicrapper with a shit eating grin on my face because it smells like ass in there. So i wait.

bingo, i hear steps leading out of the bathroom while i'm making sure my ass is nicely wiped. I proceed to exit, when fuck, another person coming in. No wi'm not usually this paranoid, but fuck, it really does smell like something shot crap all over the walls and smeared it all over the toilet. So he exits, and i proceed to the check out (sink..). As i open the door, i'm astonished to see what i feared the most. A, must have been 15 year old kid, in a wheelchair. Face was completely red from holding his breath he had to go so bad. i didn't hear him roll up, because, well, he doesn't walk. he rolls in after giving me a dirty look. As i'm washing my hands i hear in a kids voice, "What fucking died in here? inconsiderate ass holes!" i about died laughing, and went back to work.

Comcast you sons of bitches.

You took 14 days to cash a damn check and it fucked me and my shitty organizational skills.

Ah well, at least I have my cup of coffee here..........it never lets me down.*goes to take sip .............*spills on self* DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!

FAN-FUCKIN-TASTIC

They took out the older loud printer/copier that sits about 7 feet from my eardrum with a new loud printer/copier. The good news is that they're all IP now so they magically become my responsibility. Fuckers.

Oh well, talked to the boss and he said that he's going to go up the chain and see if we can get relocated when they re-org the building. The boss sits next to the door to the room where 2 more of these bastards sit.

Oh and another thing...........The used to have 2 of these huge printer/copiers downstairs in the Mailroom, now they dont. So everyone and their damn mother is going to come up here to use these bastards, thus distrupting me about 4 times an hour. Not only that, when these things jam (which they often do) they always ask ME to take a look at the damn thing. I thought about putting up a sign that says "Randy is not a printer technician", but then the morons would feel inclined to bullshit with me about how the other morons (or how they themselves) used to bug me to fix the printer thus causing more disruption. It's a Catch 22.